Dear Diva Rebecca,

Thank you for all the advice you gave me before but now we have a new problem aside from the constant fighting. My boyfriend just got sentenced to nine years in prison. He will probably only do 3 - 4 years. Should I wait for him? I want to marry this man. I love him to death. He is my daughter's father. Can I wait this long? Before he was being sentenced, he asked me to move in to his mom's apartment with her where he lived and when he gets out we will get our own place together. I want to be with him but who knows what will happen. Should I wait? Do relationships work after a long time apart?

Sincerely,

The Inmate's Bitch
Chicago, IL

Dear Inmate's Bitch,

Hold on, let me call Ricki Lake.

First of all, you are generally unhappy in the relationship. There is something about him that causes you to get easily angered and upset. You don't have to live like that and most likely, it will not get better with time. Believe it or not, there are a lot of men out there who you could fall in love with and remain happy. There is NOT only one man out there for every woman, there is an enormous selection for your feasting eyes. You have just got to pull yourself away from this one and start looking again. You can find that special guy who will not bring out that little demon of anger within yourself.

I know this is difficult because he is your baby's father. But pretty soon this guy is going to be gone for a long time. And don't fool yourself. Once inside the cell block any number of things could go wrong which will lengthen his term. You are going to be waiting for at least three years. In a normal relationship, I would say give it a go. If you two are really in love, why not wait for him. But this is not a normal relationship. You two constantly fight and it seems like the one thing that binds you together is your child. You can do better than this and it will not only be for you but you must also think about your child. Your baby could use a better role model.

And let's not forget what got him to this point to begin with. This man you love so much was sentenced to 9 years in prison. Hunny, that was no minor offense that he committed. To get 9 years in prison he must have committed a pretty severe crime. This is NOT suitable husband material. Not only are there better guys out there for you, but there are a hell of a lot of law abiding citizens who are not going to be sentenced any time soon. Think about it!

Next time you meet some new girlfriends and they ask you about your boyfriend, do you really want to say, "Yeah, he is a great guy, he'll be out in 18 months." Generally, I wouldn't care about what people think of me but c'mon.....let's go call Jerry Springer. It looks pretty trashy when your boyfriend is in the slammer. I am just being honest. You, and everybody else that knows you, will be completely aware of the fact that YOU CAN DO BETTER. I can't say it enough.

And you know what babe, I am not going to sugar coat it for you. He is going to jail for a long time....do you have any idea what happens in these facilities? Even the minimum security prisons are a brutal assault on the strongest of individuals. You can pretty much assume that he is going to be made a bitch to some hairy, large guy named Bruno. They may even decide to make him wear a dress for the whole cell block. Whenever he does get out, he is going to be a changed individual, and that might not be a good thing.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca