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Dear Diva Rebecca,
I am not sure if you are able to give any advice concerning this topic, but I am 50 and just started dating again. In the last year, I have dated 5 different men. I am sorry to report that all of these guys were really awful. Let me start by saying that I experienced in the last year the following things while dating these men:
1. Dated a man for 5 months only to discover he was living with a woman for 14yrs in the same apartment complex as myself and lied about it after taking me to all those fancy places for dinner and dancing.
2. Dated a man whom I met up with at our college reunion only to discover that he was living with his mother and had no vehicle and after 3 weeks he stopped calling, only to start calling back recently and pretended as if nothing had happen.
3. Dated a man who sold luxury cars at a dealership and was on the rebound from a 2nd marriage which he said he discovered never happened because his marriage certificate was never filed properly(have to say, he was the best of the lot).
4. Dated a special education teacher who did not like all the time I spent with my Autistic granddaughter.
5. Dated one of my best friends who drives a school bus, only to have him confess loving me then take it back the next day.
Now I want to say this, I am already 50 years old. I simply can not believe that this is all there is. Make no mistake, I have kept myself up, I get compared to my daughter a lot when we are out by younger men and to top all of this off....the youthful look attracts idiots who are so immature that I just can not stand it. Please what are all of old school dating people supposed to do in a world like this?
Ready to Resign
Dear Ready to Resign,
You had me laughing on this one. You certainly have dated some toads, haven't you? Don't worry, even younger women have the same awful experiences. It is not just because you are in a different age bracket. The dating game can be just as tough for everyone. You never really know who it is you are hanging out with. So many people put up a facade which is why you need to protect yourself.
The biggest problem that people face when dating after 50 is the size of the pool you get to fish from. There just are not as many people in the dating scene over 50 as there are at younger ages. And many of the people that are single, do not wish to begin dating because they are afraid. People in their 50's do not want to go hang out at clubs by themselves or go meet guys they barely know at meat markets.
Fortunately, dating over 50 is actually much easier than it was only ten years ago. The best, easiest and most fun way to date at your age is checking out the menu online. Looking at the choice of guys you have dated as you detailed to me so beautifully, it looks as if you are dating people that are simply nearby to you. You were dating people you already knew, at least most of them. I think the reason you chose these guys is because they were the only older single guys you knew. It was almost like you were dating them out of necessity. There are other guys out there and a much better selection, but you have to look. There are tons of online websites which have a section dedicated to dating over 50 and there even online dating sites completely dedicated to dating at this age. These websites are so popular that you are bound to find plenty of nice men your age who will fair way better than your most recent dates.
Men and women your age are just different when it comes to dating, as I am sure you know. Most people your age have already been through a marriage or two. they own their own homes, have mortgages, good jobs and a lot more to lose. Therefore, everyone wants to try before they buy. They are more careful to protect themselves, their assets and their feelings. So for older people, you will find that most dates prefer to be friends before lovers. I think this is the way it should be for anyone in the dating scene, regardless of age.
Go ahead and check out those online dating sites. I would also suggest getting together with your girlfriends and going out for lunch, social functions and out on the town. When you are in a group of girls, it makes it easier to meet new people because you have a shield around you, your friends. It also makes things much more interesting and a heck of a lot more fun.
Good luck in the dating world!
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.|
What would your advice be?
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