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Dear Diva Rebecca,
I was just recently married in April and my wedding was completely ruined by my maid of honor, bridesmaid, and master and mistress of ceremonies. I have been friends with these two girls in my wedding for over 10 years. We were more like family than friends. From the beginning we told everyone they couldn't bring dates unless they were long term, lived together, or were engaged as etiquette informed us. All of our friends are single since we are only 22. So it would have added a lot of people to our list. No one at all had a problem with this except the maid of honor and bridesmaid. They were terrible throughout everything, they only called to yell at me and my husband, to demand their way, threaten to not be in the wedding, and complain in front of me at my showers, bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, and even the dinner afterwards. They made it no secret about what an injustice we were doing to them. We explained over and over nicely and tried to make things okay between us, but we couldn't let just them bring dates. On the day of the wedding, they started complaining again to my family at the head table in front of me! I told them I could hear everything they were saying and its not necessary. My husband then told them very politely to just talk about it tomorrow, not tonight. They went nuts. They started yelling f-you, we f-ing hate you, we're leaving. They were screaming obscenities in front of EVERYONE. I tried to make them stay, I asked them not to do this and that they didn't have to go. The bridesmaid actually pushed me back so hard I almost fell. I was crying hysterically. Then the master and mistress of ceremonies, who happen to be the maid of honor's parents, yelled at us for causing this whole mess and for doing this to their daughter and the bridesmaid. Then the maid of honor, master and mistress, and bridesmaid all left. This was at about 7pm. The wedding reception only just started at 6pm. What is worse is that they had wanted to go to this party that was happening on the same night all along. They told us that they couldn't go to the party because they "had to be at our wedding". I think it was an inconvenience from the start. I never did anything wrong here. I never did anything but love them and think they were my friends. They are just terrible people. So my question is how do i get over this? They haven't tried to talk to us once since April. They are actually going around and telling lies about how we kicked them out of our wedding. I cried all night at my wedding, all week on my honeymoon, and for weeks and weeks after. It has caused a lot of strain on both of us. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be so unhappy and depressed and I don't like being envious of other couples' happiness but I am.
Dear Wedding Woes,
The Diva has a fabulous idea for you. This is what we are going to do. I will post this on my online advice column for everyone to see and read what sniveling little brats your best friends turned out to be. Then it will be up to you to forward this link to ALL of your friends (including your friend's parents) just so they can read an objective opinion from an outside party. I want you to forward it to everyone you know. After you read what I have to say, as will everyone else, you will start to feel better, Hun. And everyone else will see your side of what really happened during what should have been the most fabulous day of your life.
You are young and so are your friends, but that is okay. Some people are just ready for marriage at a younger age than others. You happen to be a mature woman while your friends are years behind you in maturity. When your best friend gets married, you want to make that day the absolute best day of her life. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. Your best friends are people you love and cherish. A wedding is a once in a lifetime special experience, and everyone knows that it is the bride's "special day". Any good friend of yours would have gone along with any and all of your wishes respectfully, so that your day would be grand. There is no such thing as the bridesmaid getting her way....it is all about the bride.
What were the heinous women doing to you? These so-called friends were actually upset that they you asked them ahead of time to not bring a date? This is a respect issue. They have none for you and probably little for themselves. They only made fools of themselves, hun. And to make matters worse they actually threw a fit at your wedding reception because they could not bring a date?? Are you absolutely sure these girls were 22? It sounds more like they were 10.
And to go beyond this completely insane tantrum that they pulled they were actually mad that they had to be at your wedding instead of a party? Oh my goodness! Okay, these are not ladies we are talking about here, these are nasty hair-pulling leaches of death. One can only assume that they wanted to go to this "party" because the boys they were not allowed to bring were there. This is the lowest of low behavior. These women were putting their own selfish desires in front of your one special day.
I would not feel bad at all, hun. You just got rid of the most selfish, disrespectful and pissy little twerps hopefully for good. You probably had no idea about their real personas until this hurtful incident. Be grateful that they are gone. Who knows what harm they could have caused you later on down the road. These are the kind of girls who would try to seduce your husband just to break you up. Yuck. You can do without.
I know that you may have a tough time dealing with this. Your special day was ruined by trolls. It happens. But honestly, it is just one day out of your married life. You have a lifetime to forget this nasty day and build hundreds upon hundreds of good days with your new husband. Another way to look at this is the fact that these weasels, um, I mean girls, are probably just jealous that you found a loving man and husband. You are married and they are not. And if they keep this behavior up, they will probably never be as lucky as you are.
I might even suggest holding a private second wedding with just you, your husband and some family members on a secluded beach somewhere. It would be very romantic and it would probably make you feel a lot better. You could replace the pictures from your old wedding with the new wedding pictures, that would help get rid of some bad memories.
Anyways, I hope those conniving little snots are reading this. And I hope these realize how selfish they are and how clueless they are in the friendship department. A word to you bitches for the future: RESPECT THE BRIDE!
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.|
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.