Dear Diva Rebecca,

This past weekend my boyfriend and I went to a party and we both got drunk. We had a bonfire and he decided that he wanted me and my friend to flash everyone. We both did and everything was fine. The he started grabbing her boobs and had her boyfriend grab mine. I thought it was kind of dumb but I figured it was harmless. Then her boyfriend and I went to get more wood. While we were gone they were messing around. She came out front and was crying. She said that he fingered her and made it seem like it was forced. I got very upset and I believed her. Then some of his friends came outside and told me that she was putting the moves on him. I basically gave up on trying to get an answer. In the morning I asked him about it and he didn't remember what happened. One of my other friends told me that my boyfriend told her that because I was with her boyfriend he could mess around with her. Now I'm very confused about what to do. I know that I can't change anything and both people are going to give me different stories. In a way I think I could just forget that it happened at all, but at the same time I feel like leaving him. I'm not able to talk to her and not sure what to say to him. I love him and want to be his wife, but not if this is going to be an ongoing thing. Any ideas?

Sincerely,

Flashing Girlfriend
Houma, Louisiana

Dear Flashing Girlfriend,

Do I ever have some advice for you! This is the perfect example of the correlation between youth and naivety. Dump this guy and forget about him as your future husband. This man is a dweeb. He has no respect for you or for women in general.

So he had you and your friend flashing everyone. If he really respected you or your body, he would not want the entire campsite to witness your bouncing breasts in the moonlight. Hey, it is cool to have a good party here and there and I have to admit that I have flashed and streaked with the best of them...but that was MY choice. The fact that he was egging you on to do this shows that he does not care about you or your body. And to add insult to injury, he even went as far to grab your friend's boobs while he let his friend fondle yours. That is plain FREAKY! How old is this jackass sweetheart? I am sorry if I am being rude, but it is not directed towards you. This man belongs to the species of men that the Diva wants all women to avoid. I am not sure he is even in our species group....maybe Neanderthal? Girl, you want a guy that is going to respect, cherish and protect your body. Plain and simple.

It is a well known fact that he and your friend screwed around. But I think we can easily deduce that this act was instigated by your Neanderthal boyfriend. First of all, he is the one that wanted to see her breasts. He did so by getting you to do it so that she would, that made it all seem innocent. Yeah, well, we can see right through that move jackass. Then she appears crying. If this girl was the evil instigator that his friends claim her to be, she would not have announced to you and everyone else that he just violated her, nor would she be crying. No, she would try and keep it on the lowdown and be a little more strategic instead of showing up crying and blowing her cover. I am sorry, but can you not see what is going on here?

I will tell you what happened. Your boyfriend made a drunken fool out of himself. He made a little plan up to get her alone and screw around with her. He filled her head with lies and he pressured her to screw around with him. He was probably very forceful as well. Men who do not respect the female body are often very aggressive and forceful when it comes to sexual contact. She eventually wised up and realized that this was wrong when she freaked out and ran away crying. Now his friends are sticking up for him because, ahem, that is what friends do. They have a male code of honor going on here. None of his friends are going to rat him out, c'mon. They are going to cover him and back his dirty lying cheating ass up.

Your girlfriend has just been victimized. You need to tend to her. Right now she is feeling guilt and blame from inside of herself and from the friends of your boyfriend. She has no reason or right to feel this way. Not only do you need to extend a shoulder to this girl, you should probably get her to talk to someone about it. Rape is not limited to vaginal penetration with a penis. Any sort of unwanted sexual contact should be considered rape.

Dump the guy. Stick with your girlfriend. She needs you.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca