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Dear Diva Rebecca,
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. He lives Chicago, I live in Arizona and we see each other religiously every 4-6 weeks. We are in a committed relationship and he is moving down here the 1st week in January. My problem is I get upset that every Sunday when suddenly I do not exist to my man. I know he loves football and I do not mind at all if he is gone all day watching football, my problem is that he can't find just two minutes when he first wakes up or when he is in the car on his way or ANYTIME to squeeze in a "Hi...have a good day...I am thinking about you...love you...etc." When the shoe is on the other foot and I don't call him for a while, he gets seriously upset with me. This wouldn't be a big deal if it were an isolated incident, but it happens every Sunday! I have asked him to call me and he still does not. He swears phones don't work on Sundays.
Invisible on Sundays,
Apparently you are having a difficult time dealing with the male-football association and phenomenon. Please, allow me to explain. Beginning each year in early August (known as Pre-season to our male counterparts) and ending the middle of February (Post-season) men (and women with elevated testosterone levels) become glued to the TV every Sunday and Monday evening to watch football. Some can't handle being that far away from the excitement and they venture out into the wilderness for tailgating, beer drinking, face painting and screaming. The feel compelled to rip off their shirts in 20 degree weather to show their deepest support for their teams, slap bellies together for a manly high five and belch endlessly after chugging a case of beer. It is not a disease nor is it an addiction. It is simply a male rite of passage which unavoidably happens to most guys.
Seriously, you can not let this bother you. Everyone needs to have time to spend with their best friends. Football Sunday is a way for your man to hang with his buds and discuss something other than work, or home or whatever pressures are going on in their lives. For one whole day each week they get to relax, bond with their friends and enjoy the day of games. It also gives him a moment of separation from you which is not a bad thing. It just gives him a little bit of his own identity that he can call his own. Let him have his fun and enjoy the day without feeling any obligations because that is what he wants and that is what he needs.
You need to look at the bigger picture. Your loving man is going to be moving to be with you and he is going to be leaving all of his football buddies behind. This is a huge sacrifice. It takes a long time to make new friends and he may have a very hard time dealing with it at first. But I think it should tell you where his heart really is. When he does move down to be with you, let him have his Sundays in peace. If you really want to make an impression, watch the games with him. Ask questions, he will be more than happy to fill you in if you are trying to communicate on his level of knowledge. He might even show off a little with his football IQ. You will be giving him that game day companionship which he will be missing as well. For now, don't sweat the Sundays. He is yours the rest of the week and football season is almost over.
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.|
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.