Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have been with my fiance for four years. He is my high school sweetheart. We just bought a house together and are getting ready to start the wedding planning. But for some reason I can not have intercourse with him. It actually grosses me out. I have tried just about everything to spice it up but nothing has worked. He has gained a lot of weight since we first started dating. I asked him to loose some weight because I think that may be the reason I am no longer interested in him. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Fataphobic
Pittsburgh, PA

Dear Fataphobic,

This is a common dilemma. You need to have a sexual relationship that coexists with your emotional relationship. Although sex is not the most important issue in a marriage, it is still very important. Physical closeness creates emotional bonds and keeps relationships together longer.

Now, I know this is difficult but I believe that you must bring this issue up to him. He has to lose weight. This can be difficult because an overweight person hates to hear it, they already know it. It can cause that person to fall into a depression very easily so you need to be as sweet as you can about it and firm at the same time.

Let him know why you need him to lose weight. It is not just for you, but also for the longevity of your relationship as well as his health. Help him see the practicality of your problem rather than making him feel undesirable by only focusing on your lack of desire for him.

You need to do this for yourself. I know it seems hard but think about the future. If things keep going the way they are headed, you could either fail to get married, end up in a divorce or potentially be miserable for the rest of your life. I know you do not want any of these options to become your destiny which is why you need to act now and save yourself from future catastrophes. They will be a lot worse than what you have to face right now.

So bring it up to him, and be serious (and sweet!). If he makes the effort to start losing weight, be happy for him. Give him LOTS of encouragement and help. The first week of dieting can be rough and he could be in a bad mood.

Be supportive, give him lots of love and constantly tell him how proud you are of him and how awesome he is doing. The more encouragement you give, the harder he will work...trust me! He will want to get more encouragement and good feelings from you once he starts. The great results will snowball from there.

I also suggest taking care of yourself at the same time. Not only is this an extra show of positive encouragement and reinforcement, but you will also stay looking fit and trim for him as well. If not, he just might lose all that weight, become your dream hottie and leave YOU for a more fit female.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca