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Dear Diva Rebecca,
I met an amazing man a little over a week ago. He swept me off my feet to say the least. We spent so much time together getting to know each other on all levels. Recently I went out of town with him. When we got back to his home we were greeted by his fiance. What the hell was that about? She said they're engaged to wed today which was only two days from our encounter. I really thought, and still feel, that we were more than a ... well you know. I know he cares for me. What do I do? I think about him constantly. Please help.
Dear Sordid Affair,
Girl, you were bamboozled! I hate to say it but I am sure you have heard of the groom's last fling before he gets married, right? You were it. This man is the epitome of unfaithfulness and immaturity.
So, let me get this straight: You and this guy get along great and begin the courting process. You go away together and have a lovely time "getting to know each other" as you say. I can pretty much deduce that you mean getting bare naked and doing the wild thing for hours on end and having a good ol' time "on all levels". In your mind, you were having a blast and thinking this new man was great, he was really into you! In his mind, he was thinking he was going to have as much fun with his free penis as he possibly could before he was attached to a ball and chain with a very short leash. He was obviously determined to have one last romp in the land of consensual hook-ups.
Now, you both get back to his place and there was another woman there who claims to be his fiance. I am slightly confused at this point. You mention nothing about the inevitable catfight which should ensue or the man getting drawn and quartered by both women......not even the mention of a nicely executed castration. What did you do? The woman says she is getting married to him in a few days and you just turned your tail and left? If she had no idea what just happened, you have every right as a fellow woman in the sisterhood to say, "Hey, you might want to rethink your selection because I just banged the hell out of your future husband and he didn't even have the common courtesy to say he was betrothed". We women need to protect each other. You should have spared her from a life of experiencing late nights at the office, flat tires, lipstick marks on the collar and lingering odors of unfamiliar perfume.
Now for the other woman. What did she do? You two walk in from a long weekend together with bags in tow. You were obviously together. Did the guy just make up some excuse and you went with it? Or did the woman understand and acknowledge his dirty little deed as a common behavior? Meaning: Was she cool with it? She just casually announced, "Oh, did you have fun with my future husband?" I just don't get it.
And now you are actually wondering if you two were more than just a fling because you thought he really dug you. Trust me, you were just a fling. Unless he decides to cancel the wedding the last minute and bang down your door with apologies and very large and expensive gifts, I would really consider moving on. This man is not for you. And by now, he is already married. I hope my ramblings have by now persuaded you to realize the notion that you were completely used.
You only knew him for a couple of days. It should be relatively easy for you to move on with your life and leave him in the dust. But don't let this experience leave you with a bad taste in your mouth! Everyone has some pretty bad stories and this one is yours. You now have some experience under your wing. Just laugh it off. This will make a great story to tell at parties. A good "Beware of the Groom To Be" story.
I hope I have helped you to see the situation more clearly.
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.|
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.