Dear Diva Rebecca,

About nine weeks ago I gave my card to a guy who plays in a band and told him to call me so we can go out for drinks. He gave me his card with his cell phone number. I called him a few days later to tell him that I enjoyed the show and that I hope that we could get together soon. He said that he would try to arrange something so that we could. Well, about 4 weeks went by without hearing from him, until I saw his band again. He remembered my name when he saw me, and we went and had drinks after the show with a few other people. I had a great time and enjoyed his company very much. I am VERY attracted to this man (he is 49, I'm 37). That night he walked me to my car and said that he would like to get together with me next week so we can be alone. We then exchanged some passionate kisses! I called him the following week because I was anxious to see him, and of course, he said that he couldn't come out, he was really busy, he really appreciated me asking him out, but maybe some other time!! I was crushed!! That was about 4 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since. What I'd like to know is if he is really interested in me, and if he isn't, why didn't he just say so?

Sincerely,

Hit and Run Flirt
Santa Monica, CA

Dear Hit and Run Flirt,

I am going to begin here with a lesson on particular types of men to avoid. There are many different types of men that women should generally stay away from. One of them is the Superstar. Many musicians fall into this category as well as politicians, actors and the rich and powerful. A man that falls into this category is not suitable for the successful and fulfilling relationship that you may desire and hope for.

The Superstar sets his eyes a little too high in the sky. His thoughts are overwhelmed with popularity, money, power, materialistic assets, privileges, fans and other pretentious vanities. He only cares about his achievements and it is this particular frame of mind which completely obscures any thought of true romance in his head. With the Superstar you will constantly have to fight for his attention between the numerous "business calls" on his cell, his late nights and disappearing acts. The Superstar generally only cares about himself and how he looks therefore your feelings are never taken into consideration.

Along with his visions of grandeur comes the inevitable foe to the supporting woman underneath the Superstar's wings: more women. They may never say it, but every man in some sort of power knows that what comes along with his rise to fame is lots of beautiful, sexy, young and "ready for action" women. There are plenty of groupie-type women out there whose sole purpose in life seems to revolve around having sex with Superstars. And most Superstars look forward to this little perk. Hey, this is the real world baby.

Your guy seems to fit the Superstar profile quite well. When you are there at a bar supporting his playtime on stage you are convenient to him. You have become what he expects: another woman to support him, give him the attention he craves and screw around with at that time. Trust me, you are not the only one out there. There would have already been dates made if he was really thinking about you. Setting a "date" is not convenient to him. He wants YOU to be there for HIM because he is a Superstar. A date would mean that he actually has to be there for you. He is not thinking about that at all.

Don't give this goober another thought darling. He is one of the men you certainly need to avoid. Even if you did manage to have some sort of half-ass relationship with him you would end up being miserable. He would rarely be there for you and there would most undoubtedly be other women in his life.

Here is another take on the situation: He is 49 and in a band. Um, yeah, that is all I am going to say about that.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca