Dear Diva Rebecca,

I'm 36 and seem to be having a premature mid-life crisis I just feel very much unfulfilled in both my personal and professional life. That's disheartening at this stage in life. I always thought that by 36 I would have everything together, yet in many ways I'm still searching.

I guess this was precipitated by a recent breakup. Its not that I'm terribly heartbroken, since we only dated for 2 months, not nearly enough time to fall in love. Its just the manner in which it happened that dealt a blow to my self esteem, and really made me look inward.

I was thinking of some fun stuff in the short term, just to take my mind off of things and cheer myself up. Maybe a fashion makeover and a new wardrobe? The thing is I have tough time finding clothes to fit just right. I'm of Asian descent, so as you would expect I'm short (5"2) and petite (110 lbs) and I have long straight black hair. I'm on the busty side (34DD), so that screws things up when trying to get a perfectly fitting outfit. If something is large enough to accommodate my bust, its too big everywhere else. Yet another reason for me to get annoyed with myself. Anyway, if there are any fashion mavens out there who have any suggestions let me know. Maybe you have tips on colors I should wear, or if I should change my hair style.

By the way, to make things even more humiliating, I actually have to swallow my pride and apologize to the man who broke up with me. We were at an art gallery a few weeks ago when he decided to break the news. I guess in my old age I've just lost my patience with insensitive men and I was just so annoyed by his business-like demeanor, and the fact that he had taken me to the gallery solely for the purpose of breaking up with me. The moment got the best of me and my frustration just took over. I sarcastically thanked him for gracing me with his presence over the past 2 months, gave him a passionate goodbye kiss, and then I slapped him across the face and stormed out. In the subdued atmosphere of the art gallery, the resounding whack caught everyone's attention and undoubtedly caused him much embarrassment. I feel badly because I know it must have stung and left a red mark. I should have shown better self-restraint.

Sincerely,

Lost My Grip,
West Lafayette, Indiana

Dear Lost My Grip,

YOU ARE A DIVA!

Don't let anyone tell you less. You are a fabulous Diva holding the ranks that most women could only dream of aspiring to. Shall I tell you why?

1) You are intelligent. You have no idea how many rambling emails I get on a day to day basis. Most of them are completely incoherent, unintelligible and undecipherable with all of the bad grammar. You would think 90% of the United States population never received a proper education. (Come to think of it, that may be true). Your email to me was concise, intelligently written, articulate and interesting to read.

2) A petite Asian woman with large breasts is already halfway to HOT. (She sent me her picture and this girl is smoking!) Do you have any idea how many men would idealize you as their wet dream? You are a rarity among beautiful women everywhere. Use this to your advantage.

3) You slapped a guy in an art gallery immediately following a kiss. That is so "Sex in the City". I love it. I can picture the scenario in my mind perfectly and it makes me tingle with delight all over. Sure, he probably didn't deserve it, but it is still so delicious. Don't apologize. I think it would be much better if he was left only with the memory of this fantastic display of a woman's wrath. Apologizing later for it will detract from its grandeur.

As far as clothes go, I used to shop as some funky little shops in the China Town area of Houston (called Harwin for all you Houston readers out there). These shops would get their clothes meant for an Asian clientele and they were so small! Normally, I would be a small size but in this store I was buying large tops. In these stores I was finding great clothes, very trendy, but they were a different cut. Much smaller. I don't know if they have any stores like this around where you are but I highly suggest checking them out.

Finally, you might be feeling the way you described because you have not had a family yet. There is something to be said about the desire to settle down and have children. It is a natural feeling in women. You could even deny these feelings exist, but the denial just leaves you questioning what is wrong with you. But don't worry, you still have plenty of time. And if you really wanted a serious guy, I should not think a Diva like you would have any problem at all.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca