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Dear Diva Rebecca,
Five years ago I was living with my friends, S and J. I worked with S and J was her bf. I didn't stay with them that long, but while I did, we were all really, really close. Well, they ended up getting married about a year after I lost touch with them, and I hadn't seen them in awhile. About five or six months ago, I ran into J at the Train Station, and we started talking and catching up. He told me how him and S were married for about four months, had moved to Louisiana, and then he found out that she was cheating on him, so they broke it all off, and he came back here. Since then J and I have been keeping touch via email. To make a long story short he has told me that he has feelings for me and that he always like me more than he should of even when he was with S. I felt the same, I always had a crush on him. What should I say when I write back to him? Is it okay for us to do this?
New York, New York
Dear Man Stealer,
First of all, you are not a man stealer.
If you have not been in touch with your girlfriend S in a long time and she now lives in another state, it is completely fine for you to go after the newly single man whom she cheated on in the past. Her loss is your gain. If she was still around and you guys were still friends who saw each other on a regular basis, then the scenario would be different. It would not be cool for you to mac on her ex while she was around, you would only ruin your friendship. But this girl is long gone and you don't even communicate with her. She has moved on, for all you know she could be married and expecting.
You want to know what to write back to him? The date and time of a hook up. Email him and tell him you would like to get together for coffee or maybe a drink. Start hanging out with him and get to know him! This is a great opportunity for a blossoming new relationship. Don't let him get away! You have nothing to worry about. If your friend finds out and gives you a hard time don't worry about it. She just feels bad for cheating on him. It is her fault, not yours.
Not everyone will agree with me, everyone has their own opinion.|
What would your advice be?
Be respectful and courteous. Rude remarks and slander of any kind will be removed.