This email just came in. It is the strangest email I have ever received. I give it an A for the most creative problem ever. Although this is not a relationship problem, I thought I would share it. And as a reminder, if this is an emergency, get off the computer and dial 911.

Dear Diva Rebecca,

My girlfriend was playing with my bowling ball last night and got her right big toe stuck in the thumb hole. She had stockings on and I was teasing her about it wouldn't fit in the hole. Well, she pushed it in as hard as she could trying to prove me wrong. I guess with the stocking on and forcing it went all the way in the hole. When she tried to take it off it was stuck. I was laughing at first and thought it was funny watching her trying to get it off. When I tried to help her get it off I couldn't get it off. It was swollen and hurting her. We tried all night and today to get it off but it will not come off. I tried to call 911 or take her to the ER for help but she doesn't want anyone to see her like this. She said she is too embarrassed. She is a very pretty woman and vain. Now its been stuck for over 20 hours and she blames me because I was teasing her. I didn't stick her toe in the ball for her, I was just teasing her when she tried. It was her idea. But she is still mad at me. She refuses to let me call for help or take her to the ER. She is in bed right now asleep. Her toe is swollen bad and hurts to touch the ball and try to take it off. I have tried everything I can think of to get it off but it wont come off. Please do you have any ideas how to get it off or what to say to her to get her to let me take her to the ER. Plus she is mad at me. Please help.

Sincerely,

Toe Jam,
Lyndhurst, New Jersey

Dear Toe Jam,

This would constitute as an emergency. She is sleeping so call 911 now. You need to call 911 or take her to the hospital against her will because if the ball does not come off soon they WILL need to amputate since the tissue is no longer getting any blood or oxygen. They may have to amputate already.

If this is a joke, that's cool too. Got my attention.

If this is not a joke, I would have liked to assume you live in a trailer home, own five dogs and have a beat up chevy which has not run in years sitting out in front of your house buried under five foot tall grassweed. Alas I cannot seeing you live in New Jersey.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca