Bad Marriages
Do you think you might be involved in a bad marriage? There are a lot of factors involved. First and foremost is if your marriage involves physical violence, on either side. It doesn't have to be the guy who is abusing his wife. Very often, the wife abuses her husband physically because she knows he won't have the guts to hit her back. In any case, a physically abusive relationship is a bad one. If your husband or wife is physically abusing you, you need to get help immediately. You need to talk to police and see what you should do. Get help from your friends and family, talk to a professional such as a counselor and leave the relationship. An abusive relationship is all about the circle of power the abuser creates. Once you leave that relationship, you break his or her power over you. When you leave, you must do so soon and quietly or even secretively. Most women who are killed by their husbands are killed WHEN they are trying to leave. Remember this. Trying to leave will only make the abuse worse which is why you should leave secretively or with the help of close friends and family.
Emotional abuse is another major problem which would constitute a bad marriage. Emotional abuse is when your spouse is using cruel remarks and phrases to keep you down. A person who emotionally abuses another person does so deliberately to keep you feeling so badly about yourself that you feel as if you NEED that person to make you feel happy. The habitual abuser acts normal in front of your friends and family. He or she may often seem like the perfect spouse in public, and that is when you love it. But once you go behind closed doors he or she changes and makes you feel inferior. Emotional abuse leaves horrible scars which take a long time to heal. The sooner you get out of an emotionally abusive relationship, the better. The problem is, most people do not realize that they are being abused in this way. It happened so gradually that they think they even deserve it. And then sometimes it comes to a point where the person being abused finally wakes up and seeks help. In this case, there might be a chance for survival, if that person leaves.
Sometimes the marriage is not physically abusive nor is it really emotionally abusive but both the husband and wife are unhappy. You tend to make each other feel badly, you fight constantly and things haven't been right for a long time. There could be infidelity involved, problems from the past which won't stay in the past, or a general sense of distaste for each other and virtually no romance. If you are questioning whether or not your marriage is worth staying involved in and you just can't make up your mind, a good source to read is Should You Stay or go?. This guide which you can read online will help people answer the basic question: should I file for a divorce or not? It was written by the divorce experts. Remember, all marriages go through hard times.
Very often you start out with what appears to be a great marriage. After a few years it slows down and then after a good long while it really falls apart. What happened? Today, divorce is all to easy an answer. For long term marriages, the best thing to do is to stay together through the rough times. This only makes a relationship better and much stronger down the road. Sometimes it seems like it will never get better, but those rough patches will last for a long time, they always do and you need to have patience as well as the desire to want to make the relationship work. If you look for ways to improve your marriage, you just might make it through the hard times.
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