How To Save My Marriage
I think that people should be more interested in saving their marriages rather than trying to disassemble with divorce. While it is true that some families would be better off if the husband and wife were divorced (and I am speaking for the children) because the relationship is just horrible, it is worthwhile to reevaluate your relationship and see if this is one of those things where you can make it work. I believe that most marriages enter a crisis or two. But if you are a couple who began in a healthy relationship and married each other because you LOVED each other, then there is no reason why you can't try and make it through the tough times. For couples that stick together through the fighting, arguments and problems which cause these temper flare ups, you are bound to be rewarded with an even stronger bond in the end.
The hardest thing in a marriage to get over is infidelity. This usually occurs on the male side but it often occurs on the female side as well. If you partner is cheating and having affairs and has done so for years and years, you probably owe it to yourself to get out of the relationship. But when it happens once or twice, you can get through it. The biggest thing you have to realize is that we are all human and we are all born with very human traits. We are all susceptible to mistakes. The worst thing you can do is beat your spouse down over and over again because of it, or use the affair to bring up in arguments as your way of slicing into him or her and as a conversation ender. The more you keep dwelling on the problem and bringing it up, the worse it become for both of you. You are not letting him forgive himself and you are not letting yourself heal. This is just one example of a very tough time in marriages, and of course there are many more.
Very often when one person wants to save the marriage, the other does not. What do you do in this scenario? The more that you want to work on the marriage or relationship, the less your partner does. And what happens when he or she wants a divorce and you don't want one? A very important step to saving your marriage is to seek counseling. It is preferable to find a couples counseling but this could be problematic for two reasons. One....your partner might not want to go. And two....it might be too expensive. There is a wonderful program which you can buy confidentially over the web called Save My Marriage which offers a six day ecourse for one small price. The best part about this program is that it is for you, the individual who wants to save the marriage, and helps you to learn how you can save your marriage from divorce and help sway your spouse into staying. This is a great and very reputable product on the web.
I have seen countless couples go through what is called the seven-year itch. They get married and seven years later ache for a separation. At least, one of them does. And then about a year later, they reunite because they realize, or least the one that left realizes, that life was much better off in the marriage than outside of it. It is almost like a midlife crisis but it can happen at any age. It is just an itch to get out of the marriage. If this is happening to you, I encourage all married couples to seek a separation rather than an immediate divorce. This is because most people who get a divorce end up regretting it later on down the road. Sometimes it takes a while, but after a year most people, on either side, generally regret the divorce. This is why a separation is key. Get separated and have some time to yourself. You will eventually come to the conclusion that you miss your married life (at least more often than not) and you won't have to bother getting remarried when that happens.
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