Make My Marriage Work
Making a marriage work requires love and patience on both sides. But sometimes, it is just one of you that wants to make a marriage work while the other could care less or is seeking a divorce or separation. Trying to make your marriage work while the other doesn't want to can be difficult, but it can happen. There is so much that you can do to help better your relationship with your spouse. Any marriage gets strained over the years. Small arguments turn into long festering debates over time. Some problems from the past keep coming up and just won't die. And sometimes you have had your feelings hurt so badly and the pain from those wounds just won't go away. But that is usually because you keep picking at the scabs.
I think one of the most important words of wisdom I have ever heard came from a little old lady who had been married for over 60 years. She said to never ever go to bed angry at each other. Think about that. When you go to bed angry at someone, you wake up angry at them. You can't always settle a dispute in one evening so that you are happy in love every single time you go to bed. But you can't sleep next to each other when you have been creaming and yelling at each other and saying terrible things to one another. It just doesn't work. If your temper's are the problem, take a few nights away from each other. But if you are having a small argument, try not to let it bother you before you go to bed. Roll over and tell your spouse how much you love him or her and although you might be in disagreement, your love for that person is still there and you hope you can both find a resolution. You might be surprised at the reaction. Not only that, but you will sleep easier and have a completely different outlook when you wake up. In fact, you both will and more than likely, a compromise will be found easier.
In general there are plenty of tips and tricks you can use to help make a relationship work. There is no one magic solution to all of your problems. If you have a normal marriage, you probably have twenty or so normal problems which can be worked on or even fixed in general. And nobody has a perfect marriage either, but some couples do work at their problems more efficiently. Making a marriage work TAKES work, and time and energy and even research. One of the best investments you can make is to read Michael Webb's grand collection which includes all of his material that he has ever written and then some. Michael Web is considered the most romantic man on the internet. He has been a relationship coach for Oprah and he is a master at repairing marriages. Everything he has on fixing marriages and keeping them happy can be found on his website and you can read it all online for privacy.
Making a marriage work is part love, part forgiveness, part research and part discipline. Forgiveness is really key. You can't forgive someone for one mistake and then continue to bring it up and throw it in that person's face. True forgiveness means to forget the mistake, no matter what it is. You can't really forgive someone unless your forget their transgression. I say it is part love because you really must love and respect your spouse. How can your spouse ever feel love or respected by you if they only ever hear terrible insults and comments coming out of your mouth? Remember to treat someone as you, yourself, wish to be treated. Research is another key element because you are not expected to know how to make a marriage perfect right from the get go. You need to do research to find out how you can make things better, just like any other aspect of your life. And you also need the discipline to keep these three items in check throughout your marriage.
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